


Do Your Worst

by riddlemepenguin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea where this is going, Might contain Valduggery at some point, Multi, idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 17:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riddlemepenguin/pseuds/riddlemepenguin
Summary: After a shunter takes Valkyrie and Skulduggery to another universe, unwillingly, they must learn to survive in a world with strange magic, and a war looming. There’s always a war looming though, so they should be able to handle it, right?
Relationships: Valkyrie Cain & Skulduggery Pleasant
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Do Your Worst

**Author's Note:**

> Now why would I start another story I may never finish? Welcome to plot hole hell probably!

The forest around her creaked and groaned. What moonlight made it through the canopy lit her a path she could barely see. Wind tossed her hair about and her legs pumped as they tore through the forest floor. The panic in her system rendering her flight capabilities useless. The figure chasing her was gaining on her. The  thing  growled loudly behind her. The very sound striking fear into her heart. Who wouldn’t be afraid of an actual demon hell-bent on killing them? Valkyrie Cain was nothing if not realistic. 

Taking a sharp left, she hoped to at least make the damn thing as confused as she was as to where she was going. She cursed Devious Dare for shunting her into a new universe that hasn’t been explored. Anything could be out here. At least she wasn’t alone. Skulduggery Pleasant, her friend and partner, appeared behind the demon and sent a fireball at it. It struck the figure and sent it flying into a bush. Valkyrie slowed to a stop and bent over from sheer exhaustion. Never one to catch much of a reprieve, she straightened up just as the demon came roaring out of the bush. 

Skulduggery was already moving. He punched the thing square in it’s face. It stumbled back, but quickly righted. It brought its clawed hand up and swiped at Skulduggery. He jumped back, pushing at the air to make him move faster. Still, the claws caught his navy blue suit jacket and tore holes in the left side of it. Valkyrie ran over and grabbed its hand, keeping the claws away from her, and brought her other hand up to blast white lightning into its chest. The demon wailed and tore its hand out of her grip. She took a few steps back and got ready to blast it again. Skulduggery came up to her side and lit fire in his hands. 

For a moment all was still. The demon stared its red eyed stare, jowls snapping. The tension broke as the sound of many hooves clambered on the ground. Then out of the trees they came. Their white pelts otherworldly in the glow of the moon. Closer and closer they came. As soon as they were within five feet of the demon it screamed. The demons head moved disturbingly fast, its whole body started smoking. Valkyrie could only stare, bewildered, when the thing went up in a dark cloud of smoke and simply vanished. Next to her Skulduggery relaxed and righted his jacket. 

“Did we just get saved by some goddamn unicorns?”

* * *

Devious Dare was a simple man, who wanted simple things in life. A roof over his head, food on the table, and a demon to do his bidding. Considering he had two out of three, he was doing pretty good. It had taken time, lots of research, and many dimensions but he finally found a way summon and control a demon. It was in an old decrepit house he first attempted to do the seemingly impossible. Things didn’t turn out too well the first time, but it was on the sixth try he was confident it would work. And it had. Just as he was finishing up however, the infamous detectives burst through the door leading into the basement where he and his new demon cohort were. 

“Stop what you’re doing and step away from the, uh... thing,” Valkyrie Cain said. 

Devious’ face grew red with rage. “This being is older, and more powerful, than anyone on the planet at the moment, show some  respect !” 

He was actually fudging the power bit, as it was a lower class demon. The lowest of the low if you will. That was the only demon he could control. Devious ordered the demon to attack the two while he attempted to get away. He didn’t dare look back as he ascended the stairs. Sounds of battle behind him had him scurrying faster. Just as he was reaching the front door a skeletal hand grabbed his bicep and whirled him around. 

“Going somewhere?” Skulduggery Pleasant stood tall, looking smart in a navy blue suit, matching tie and black button up shirt. 

Devious snarled and moved to punch him, but was hit hard in the nose. Skulduggery grabbed him again, but this time Devious shunted back into the basement. He had to be near the demon to order it around. The skeleton staggered back at the sudden change, but righted. He dodged another punch. He couldn’t block the follow up however, and doubled over in pain. He stumbled back some, right into the fight between Valkyrie and the demon. He couldn’t quite keep track of what happened next. All he knew was pain pain pain. He had to get away. So he shunted. 

Suddenly it was night. Devious fell onto his back. A foot kicked him so hard it knocked the breath out of him. He curled up into the fetal position. As soon he caught wind he commanded the demon to kill the two detectives. He stood and watched as the demon took them on. He could see fear in the young woman’s eyes grow as none of their attacks were working. The only way they are going to win was if he was incapacitated. Devious grinned. A skull snapped in his direction, eye sockets boring into his eyes as if in realization. 

The skeleton detective looked back at his partner for a brief moment then nodded and broke off from the fight. Running straight for him. Now, at this point you’d think Devious was smart enough to shunt away, but a primal fear kept him in place. He could only watch as Valkyrie and the demon ran off. By the time his eyes were back on the skeleton he was already on him. He could only think  _aww_, _man_ . 

* * *

“I believe we did,” said Skulduggery. Valkyrie glances over at him, then back to the heard of unicorns. 

“So, now what? We’re in another universe right? I suspected it, but the unicorns confirmed it.”

“Oh? You don’t think there are unicorns in our universe? How do you know? Have you ever thought to look for any?”

“Well, I’ve never seen any, never read about them, and someone would have mentioned there were unicorns.”

“But you don’t really know if there are any.”

“Skulduggery, are there unicorns in our universe?”

“No.” 

“Ah.”

Valkyrie turned her head back to the majestic creatures. If she weren’t so exhausted she would feel much more excited to be in their presence. As it were her muscles were sore, mind tired. But they were beautiful. She decided to take a step closer to the nearest one, but didn’t go any further as it reared back and stomped it’s hooves. It shook its head at her and turned away, starting back the way it came. Wow, being reject by a unicorn... hurt. She watched as the heard followed after the one that snubbed her, and soon they were all gone. She sighed. 

“What happened to Dare?”

“He got away.”

“And how exactly are we going to get home?”

“That, I do not know. I suggest we find civilization and hope they aren’t going to murder us. Need a lift?”

“Sure.”

Skulduggery wrapped an arm around her waist, and they were off. She hasn’t mastered flying, not by a long shot, and she hadn’t wanted to risk burning up her jacket and pants Ghastly had made. Reaching the top of the trees, they looked out over the forest. To the right lay more forest, but to the left was a large castle. At least she assumed it was large, as castles usually are. At the distance they were however, it looked small. The two detectives glanced at each other. Valkyrie gave a small nod, and Skulduggery took off. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t remember if there are canon unicorns in SP soooo I decided there aren’t. I have books 4-9 but I don’t want to look through all of them sorry. 
> 
> But I’ve a l w a y s wanted to write a HP crossover and I was going to do a young dracula/HP crossover but A Normal Life, go read it, is already so perfect I can’t compete. Not that I want to. But I’ve been reading the new Skulduggery Pleasant books and like. Fuck I love it. I’m on Bedlam at the moment and I’ve preordered Seasons of War. Ugh, I love these books. So this is set in OoTP and before Bedlam and after Midnight. Have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing with this. See you next time maybe~


End file.
